Put against the grain of the world I fear. Criticism points to doubts I hold about myself, and it’s gotta be for me to claim my strength, to align with truth, to become my highest potential letting go of the belief that I am not enough.
limiting thought patterns
My path parenting and educating a special child is completely out of the mould, and the uncertainty about its results brings recurring fear and stress which I must fight to continue walking.
Turning fear into love in action. Years ago I learned and lived this to gracefully navigate out of the limitations of autism. Now APD has come to give me one more way to learn it.
Learning about “talents” and my nature as a creator to dissolve one more layer of the limiting thought that I need to do and be more than I already am.
Lately I’ve noticed the constant presence of stories defining people’s existence. We seem to crave them, collect them, learn to seek to create them to define ourselves and stand out from the crowd, to be “somebody”. I have mine too, of course… “Mother of a special child whose journey to save her son ultimately saves […]
Inquiry on a nagging stressful thought helped me clarify my purpose as Joaquin’s mother, shifting my focus from future outcomes to the tools, beliefs, and values I offer him now.
Letting myself to do my project instead of seeking to nurture Joaquin’s development brings up fear. But John Holt reminds me: “It’s okay; keep trusting”.
When mentally “failing” as a Son-Rise parent, remember: Perfection is not required. Rules that separate us in the moment from our kids are not helpful. Self acceptance helps us AND our children grow.
October was so amazingly expansive, I didn’t have any time to update this blog with the many amazing things that occupied my days… I was busy bringing on board three amazing new volunteers in Joaquin’s Son-Rise Program. I was also extremely intentional, using my “eye or Mordor” focusing on areas I wanted to help develop […]
Just like a menstrual period, yet not exactly with the same frequency and predictability, I seem to experience cycles of contractive energy… They manifest primarily by a very strong need for space: physical and emotional. I find myself wanting to be alone, still, and silent. Mostly still and silent. Yet, mothering a four-year-old Sagittarius so […]
Last weekend was a tough one. Tiny actions or words unleashed a wave of anger towards Joey which consumed my mind during both days. I’d go to bed okay, or mildly upset, and by morning the emotion was exponentially worse. Very uncomfortable for the three of us. So when a tiny “emergency” woke us up […]
While Joaquin takes a nap in our living room, I decide to take my Frequency book and read by him. As I go through chapter 3, an incredible revelation comes over me. I start seeing it so clearly. It makes so much sense, and my heart agrees by beating rapidly, and my eyes, ears and […]
At the core of this belief there is the very big and fat red itchy theory that I may have planted in Joaquin the subconscious idea that the world is not safe; that he is not welcome in my life. Sometimes I’ve thought that Joaquin may have experienced the conflict I had as a stay-at-home […]
Having embraced my unhappiness for the last three days, I emerge today peaceful, happy and loving, and ready to go on with my present life. And because I can see clearly now without the clouds of resistance and self-judgement, I also have a few words of wisdom for my past and future unhappy self. So […]
Success, performance, achievement. The stuff for which I’ve worked most in the first 38 years of my life… Last year’s existing project to create a new passionate career… To become a successful artisan, a brand name, a recognized designer able to make a living out of my craft and joy, all surrounded by stress and […]
Have been going through a blah time all the way since around Thanksgiving. Been so bummed down by this mood since it’s such a long drop from the high I had reached by chance a month ago. I was doing so well… getting it so much, that I even thought I didn’t need any more […]
We built the son-rise playroom and Kiki’s progress slowed down; I got discouraged, depressed. Prompt support help me discard limiting beliefs and get back on track inspired and driven.
From the trenches of our Son-Rise bubble, here are the highlights shared with friends and family during June 2010, our 2nd month into the program.
As soon as I saw her, she reminded me of my mom. She looked mature, yet youthful. I liked everything she said, her experience, her presence at my house, and the best sign of all: Joaquin seemed to be ok with her. He ate his dinner peacefully, even with a “stranger” at the table. Then […]
Here’s something I have come to know about myself over time… I need recognition. I hate to admit it to myself, but it’s the truth. On my first jobs out of college, and then, out of Business School, I got plenty of recognition from all of my bosses, and bosses’ bosses. Life was great and […]
A little over a year ago, when I was a free, childless, freelance web designer, I had plenty of time to do things like: Encrypt my style sheets so plagiarists wouldn’t have such an easy ride with my portfolio site Put and manage traps to find out when somebody downloaded my portfolio site with a […]
You would think that the worst thing that could happen to your project is for it to be canceled or put on hold. But you're wrong: This is much worse.
I've successfully transitioned from a business background to a career in web design. I've reached that milestone. Now what?